10 Self Coaching Fundamentals

By Tim Brownson

Author of Don’t Ask Stupid Questions – There Are No Stupid Questions

I was talking to somebody the other day about fluff. I’m not referring to the stuff that finds its way into your belly button, but book fluff or filler. I could easily distill several of the seminal self-development books into a few paragraphs if I was so inclined.

The thing is though, nobody spends $20 on one piece of mass produced paper no matter what words of wisdom are printed on it. So writers have to bulk their books out to deliver perceived value and get people to hand over their hard earned cash.

I’ve decided to unbulk the coaching process and invent a new word into the bargain. Here are ten tips that if you follow will guarantee an improvement in the quality of your life, or I’ll give you your money back.

#1 Align With Your Values

Unless you know what your core values are you will struggle with blocks in your life. All your decisions are based around your values and what you consider imperative to your life.

For example, if you have a number one value of integrity and work for a business that rips off its customers (even if you are not involved in the actual process) then you will feel uncomfortable either consciously or unconsciously.

There are also away from values, things that you move away from at all costs and again you should know what these are as they can frequently be the reason why you just can’t follow through with somethings no matter how hard you try.

#2 Happiness is Internal

Yeh, yeh, yeh, I know, it’s a cliché. I don’t care though because it’s true. Chase money, possessions, titles as much as you want, but realize that they wont bring you happiness. You already have that if you can be bothered to dig around and look for it. Being in complete alignment with your values will help you find happiness.

#3 Beliefs Aren’t Real

Your belief system is something that you’ve built up over your life. It comes from your parents, your friends, your colleagues and many other sources. It is evolving and changing all the time.

You probably believe in the tooth fairy, but somebody told me only last week, she really doesn’t exist. Disappointing though that is, especially as I have been stock piling my new puppies teeth for a big payday, we just have to accept reality and change the belief.

What false beliefs about your abilities are you holding onto that are holding you back? When you know they are, undermine them, look for counter examples and replace them with more empowering beliefs. After all, if you think you can, you probably can.

#4 The Map Is Not The Territory

This is a presupposition of NLP and critical to understanding and making changes. Just because you view something one way doesn’t make it so. Everybody has his or her own map and theirs is just as accurate as yours. Adopting that one belief will remove conflict from your life.

#5 Use Perceptual Positions

If in moments of introspection you can take a step back and view your life or any given situation from a watchers point of view you will often see things that you can’t see from your angle. It can also be useful to take the 2nd person position, which involves seeing you through the eyes of the person you are talking to or involved with. Most people resist this especially when coming under attack, be different.

#6 Write it Down

Whether it is goals or simply ideas you have on trying to improve your life put them on paper. The sheer act of writing something down sends a message to the unconscious mind that you are serious about what you are doing that it need to get to work on bridging the gap between where you are now and where you want to go.

#7 Every Action has a Positive Intention

This is another NLP presupposition. Even when you do what sometimes seem like ridiculous things there is always a positive intent behind it. It may take some digging to get to it but it is there.

Taking smoking as an example. It can seem self-destructive and often smokers that want to quit will refuse to see the benefits, but they are there. By accepting that your actions are not there to harm you (even self-harm fits into this category) you are infinitely more likely to be able to make changes

#8 Model

If you are unsure how to do something copy somebody that is proficient. This is how children learn to speak and it is how we get good at something quickly. Too many people are frightened of asking for help because they think it makes them look weak. In my not so humble opinion, not asking for help makes you look stupid.

#9 Make Mistakes

Mistakes are feedback, they are nature’s way of telling us we need to adjust to take stock and reconsider. They do not mean we are failure as a person just that we failed at a task. Relish mistakes, hug them, caress them and thank them for dropping by because they are helping you to learn.

#10 Be Kind To Yourself

This is so important to get a handle on. There really is no need EVER to beat yourself up, be kind to yourself like you would a loved one. We all make mistakes, even the super successful make mistakes, try and learn from them and move on. Too many people seem to be great at beating themselves up and terrible at praising themselves. Give yourself some credit from time to time, you deserve it!

Tim Brownson is a UK qualified Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner and certified Hypnotherapist and author of Don’t Ask Stupid Questions – There Are No Stupid Questions.

He coaches both face-to-face in Orlando and over the telephone with clients all over the United States, Canada and ‘back home’ in the UK.

Subscribe to Tim’s free life coaching blog, and stop by his bookstore for more life coaching motivation.

Related Reading:

What is a Life Coach?
How to Quit Smoking
How to Transform Fear

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How are you Voting for your Health?

Call me old fashioned but I refuse to vote by absentee ballot. I just love Election Day, and to me there is something really special about driving to the same elementary school year after year and filling out my ballot alongside everyone else in my community. There is that certain spirit in the air. That friendly neighborhood free cookie and coffee hour that can’t quite be replicated anywhere else. “Does my vote really make a difference?” I always wonder to myself as I look around the crowded room.

It certainly does to me.

Election time is about much more than voting for the lesser of two evils, it is about taking the time to educate ourselves about the issues.

As I carefully went through my voter’s ballot one last time, I realized, “wow voting is just like making healthy decisions!” Voting can be simple, and voting can be tough. There is that clear section in your voter’s pamphlet that you quickly breeze through, and then there are those decisions that you still aren’t certain about after never ending research and reading. What does this issue even mean? Do I need to hire an attorney to translate this legal gibberish? You may be left even at the last minute to deliberate over what is right and what is wrong.

Whether my vote is actually counted or not, I am left that much more educated as I submit my passionately researched opinions on how this world should be –in to the giant garbage can er…ballot counter.

We are truly blessed in our country to at least be given choices, even if they aren’t the best choices, they nevertheless are still choices. The freedom of choice is what makes America the amazing country that it is. Your choice may not always make the difference in America, but it does make a difference in you.

One thing that always ticks me off year after election year though is the blanket statement “everyone should vote.”

Do you really think everyone should vote? Sometimes I think that people should be forced to take a basic test on the issues and pass it before they can vote. Now I am not saying this to offend people that can’t read. Really, you shouldn’t have to even know how to read in order to vote, illiterate people can and should still be allowed to vote—as long as they are educated on what they are voting about!

What happens when we don’t educate ourselves on the issues and just go blindly vote? Does the thought of hundreds of thousands of uneducated voters making decisions about our government terrify anyone else?

One uneducated vote is actually enough to throw off an entire election.

In this year’s presidential election the “vote was rocked” by all the previously apathetic people that never really cared enough to go out and vote. That is what made the difference. That is what got the underdog in to office. That is what has created a great deal of hope that, “change is coming”, “that race is not an issue”, “that the average person can be president” (well George W. already demonstrated that) and that MLKJ’s dream that “people are not judged by the color of their skin, but the content of their character,” has alas come true. At least the majority of the American population is now looking at character and not color. We are progressing!

The votes of the previously apathetic are what has made American history. In all reality that is more amazing than the first African American being elected to office. Apathy is a far bigger problem than prejudice these days. Of course there are still and will always still be ignorance around race, but we have an entire Generation of “X”ers that don’t care about anything except video games and Sex in the City. Young people everywhere are starting to take pride in their country, starting to see that “this is MY country too.” People in Seattle have been dancing in the streets, making eye contact, and some strangers have even been caught making polite small talk despite the start of the nine month rainy season.

Regardless of your party preferences, I think we can all agree that the choice to vote is a right that many Americans take for granted. You shouldn’t just go blindly vote, it is important to educate yourself on the issues at hand, the pros, the cons, and then to support things moving in a positive direction.

Every day, everywhere you go, you are given a choice. You are given an opportunity to vote for your health. Sometimes the choices aren’t that great like “do you want fries with that?” or “diet coke or regular coke” or “pumpkin pie vs mince meat pie” and “sugar or something made from sugar?” But nevertheless they are choices that we should still attempt to think about.

Is Barack Obama right? Is change really coming? Only you can decide.

It’s the synergy of these little daily choices that build us up; or stack up as obstacles in our path.

In naturopathic medicine one of our main nature cure healing principles is to “remove the obstacles to cure”. The body wants to heal. The body wants to repair. It is the intrinsic nature of the body to constantly heal and repair, but the body also requires the right tools, the foundation has to be properly set, and obstacles must be removed from the path of “The Healing Power of Nature” or “The Vis Medicatrix Naturae” or “The Vis” as most naturopaths fondly refer to it. “The Vis is strong in this one,” you can go around joking to all your healthy friends if you want to be nerdy like me.

Obstacles to healing typically come from our unhealthy diet and lifestyle choices. All the white refined food garbage we eat, stagnation, negative thinking, unhealthy relationships, drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc, etc…nag, nag, nag…these are all the roadblocks to healing.

Sometimes the right choices are crystal clear. Everyone knows drugs are bad. Everyone knows smoking kills. Everyone knows 1-2 glasses of wine a day not the whole bottle, right? But when it comes to our diet things can be a bit trickier. We usually are left picking between what appears to be the lesser of two evils. So what would you vote for:

High Fructose Corn Syrup or Aspartame?

Wow!!! Did I really just vote for High Fructose Corn Syrup? Well, I was left no choice when it went head to head with aspartame. *sigh*

Which is the lesser of the two evils? High fructose corn syrup as noted in Dr. Scott Olson’s amazing book about sugar addiction, “Sugarettes” is linked to obesity, diabetes, aging to our arteries, and hypoglycemia. Whereas aspartame, is guilty of causing a “cephalic response” which leads to obesity and weight gain. In the cephalic response the brain is tricked by the sweet taste of aspartame and then tells the pancreas to secrete insulin, despite normal levels of glucose. This insulin dump causes low blood sugar or “hypoglycemia” which makes you hungry, and ultimately leads to being overweight.

Is aspartame not the biggest joke in health “care”? The man made garbage you are drinking to lose weight is making you fat? Yikes the issues can be deceiving, and just like in politics, the government refuses to acknowledge this conundrum, while both the FDA and American Diabetic Association also refuse to acknowledge that sugar causes diabetes (type II) and weight gain. (Source: OlsonND)

Yet another reason that politics mirror health care—you don’t always agree with the government!

Do you trust the government? Do you believe every single bit they tell you? Whether you do or you don’t the correct answer is “you shouldn’t always.” The government has to keep prison and school caffeteria programs funded so the average American best not base their “optimal daily allowance” off what the government says. I think the RDA should be called the MDA for “Minimal Daily Allowance”. The government also only cares about the collective and not the individual. There is no “NDA” (Nicole’s Daily Allowance).

So—now that you have been educated on aspartame vs high fructose corn syrup, do you still want to vote for aspartame? My guess is “no” if you are trying to use aspartame as a weight loss aid.

“Well Dr. Nicole, sugar makes people fat too, and high fructose corn syrup is converted by the liver to fat–all biochemists know that fructose is typically converted in the liver to fat,” you may argue.

Which I would then deliberate back that aspartame has MORE consumer related complaints than any other man made substance we consume. Frankly I don’t even have all day to rattle off the ever-growing list of skin rashes, autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia, arthritis, cancer, mood disorders, so forth and so on that consumers are reporting to the FDA. Thus I am left to make an ugly vote for high fructose corn syrup.

Rarely in health just like in politics, are we ever given a win-win situation to deliberate over like “soup or salad?” You can’t fail on that choice, unless the soup is a rich fatty cream base with chunks of sausage, or the salad is a lifeless sad case of iceberg lettuce and Thousand Island dressing.

My point with this rambling about voting for our health is that every single day, every place you go you are given the power of choice. Exercise that power with extreme privilege. Educate yourself on the issues. Read one new health tip every single day. Create a new whole foods recipe each day. Our day to day choices do in fact have influence not just on us but on our environment and those around us.

We live in a country where we have the constitutional right to choices, and many of us are not exercising these rights when it comes to our health. It may initially be overwhelming to think about all the diet choices we have to make, but in the end it all boils down to the same thing whether you are voting for a candidate or voting for your health—education. Educate yourself on the issues and then make your decisions based off your values, based off what works for YOU.

The more you educate yourself on the things you choose to put in your body the healthier you will inevitably become. We truly “are what we eat,” and the tritest expression in nutrition should be the motivator behind all your health decisions. What are your values? Who do you really really really want to be? Fat or thin? Healthy or unhealthy? Organic or Polluted? Positive or negative? Fit or fat? Selfish or contributory? Environmental or Apathetic? Believer or Non-believer? Who do you want to be?

You are invited to decide that today.

If you want to prevent disease, if you want to be healthy, if you want to teach your children by example; if you want to be that positive person and most importantly if you want to inspire the people around you by the choices you make—the bigger “votes” although initially tough—become that much simpler.

Hmmm…that gym membership is suddenly worth it, that home cooked meal at the kitchen table is suddenly worth the extra effort rather than just another night of drive through dining. Reading your child a book before bed suddenly becomes a million times more special than drinking a fat glass of wine in front of the television. Maybe that extra 20 cents for that organic apple really isn’t that bad after all when we decided to vote with our consumer dollars against pesticides being allowed to poison our environment and our children, and our children’s environment. Your consumer dollars are always voting too.

It all boils down to living by your values.

What is it that you really value? Life coach and author, Tim Brownson is constantly nagging me…er…um…I mean… he is always INSPIRING me to consider my values, and some of the healthy or environmental things I have previously been in a naturopathic rebellion against have more easily slid into place.

Anyone that has been chronically ill—that has been so sick that they have seen death’s door and made it back again knows the value of their health. If you have visited death’s door you do not take your health for granted. You realize you were given a second chance, you were given life. You choose life and you choose everything that supports the existence of your life. Unfortunately those of us that have not been forced to pay that visit to death’s door, have no clue what the true value is in our health. We may never fully understand until it is too late.

As a result, our health is always a value that will get cast aside with apathy. And apathy is the biggest war we have to wage for this century.

Whether you are traveling, visiting a friend, dining out, or eating at your kitchen table–you are always given choices. Get political, vote for the lesser of the two evils. Use your money as your ballots. That is exactly what keeps us always moving in a healthier direction. That is how we save the environment and ourselves. That is how we prevent disease. One day at a time, one choice at a time.

One healthy vote at a time.

Ha- you thought Election Day was over now did you? Sorry I can’t let you off the hook that easy, voting season has just begun. Now get out there and make your votes count!

“Progress not perfection.”

Thanks for stopping by my kitchen table.

~Dr. Nicole Sundene

Related Reading: 45 Years to American Health Care

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Is Food a Bad “Ex-Lover”?

By Bonnie Pfiester, fitness trainer, and wife of fitness trainer Steve Pfiester, trainer for the reality tv show “Fat March”.

Obesity is so much more than a physical condition.

There are reasons people are overweight, many of which are purely psychological. This became extremely apparent on “Fat March”.

As Steve spent countless hours with the marchers, they had plenty of time to really search their heart for answers. Loralie’s description of her relationship with food was probably the most profound.

“Steve” Loralie said, “Food is like an ex-lover that is just no good for me. Not just any ex, but a really sexy ex. When I think about him (food) all I remember are the good times. I forget how much pain and guilt he would cause. And after an incredible night together full of passion he just leaves you crying on the living room floor in the fetal position full of guilt” “And yet, late at night… I still want him so, so bad”.

Like a real relationship, people often feel trapped in their overweight body. They feel they have no way out and no hope. Many times, like an unhealthy relationship, it just takes support and guidance. Without help it is easy to just give up and give in to simple pleasures that leave you “crying on the living room floor in the fetal position full of guilt”.

Also similar to unhealthy relationship, people can lose self-worth. Food, like an abusive husband, puts you down every time you indulge. Fat can make you feel unworthy and unattractive. Before you know it, you are just trying to accept things the way they are, only to live in a lifestyle that continues to make you miserable.

There is a way out and it starts with making a change. People often fear change because they fear failure. Women may stay in an abusive relationship because they fear failing. Whether it’s the fear of being alone or not being loved again, the fear of the unknown often keeps people in the known, no matter how bad it is.

There is nothing to fear, health and fitness is not a mystery. Fitness loves you more than any great tasting food. It doesn’t lie, it takes care of you, it rewards you – it is tried and true. You are absolutely no exception. It may take time, but most great things take time. The one thing I know for sure is nothing will change without making a change.

~Bonnie

Bonnie Pfiester is a Personal Trainer and owner of the health club Longevity Fitness. You can enjoy more of Bonnie’s fitness and beauty articles at www.BonniePfiester.com .

You are invited to leave your fitness and sports nutrition questions in the comments below for Bonnie to briefly answer or write about in future articles.

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Getting “The Big Diagnosis”

The only thing worse than giving “The Big Diagnosis”, is getting “The Big Diagnosis”.

Let’s just stop for a moment and think about what it might feel like to be diagnosed with terminal cancer. How would you feel if you were told that “You have cancer and only six months left to live”?

How would that make you feel?

I hate to be so grim, but in order for us to really practice preventative medicine in our diet and lifestyles, we need to think about what we are indeed actually striving to prevent. We need to stay motivated.

What would it be like to suddenly drop over from a heart attack?

How would it feel to find out you have diabetes and have to give yourself a shot of insulin each and every day, with each and every meal for the rest of your life?

What if you had a stroke and woke up and only half of your body continued to work? What if it left you unable to speak? Unable to express yourself, unable to tell your family that you love them?

None of this stuff is fun to think about, but much of it is highly preventable for the most part.

Most younger people defend their bad diet and lifestyle choices with the declaration that “I don’t want to be old someday, so I don’t care if I die in my 50’s or 60’s”.

As much as such thinking may solve the Social Security problem here in America, it certainly is not doing much for our Sickcare System.

First of all, after spending nine years in health care, I just have to say that most people are not so lucky as to be taken out suddenly by a massive heart attack or stroke. These are less common occurrences.

Most preventable diseases tend to have an insidious course. You may not care about your future well being now, but imagine what it would be like to spend your golden years in a wheelchair. To no longer be able to drive your car. To be bed ridden. To feel like a burden on your family. To always be dependent on someone else to go to the bathroom or change your diapers. To be stashed away in some lonely corner of a nursing home with no one to talk to or visit you all day. What will it feel like to lose all your personal freedoms?

We all want to just pleasantly die of a pulmonary embolism in our sleep. That would be ideal.

Unfortunately it is not realistic.

In order to stay inspired to take care of yourself in a preventative manner, I suggest you think of yourself as three individual people. There is the “Today You”, the “Tomorrow You”, and the “Future You”.

Feel free to diagnose me with Multiple Personality Disorder, but in order to work my way through the rigors of medical school I started to refer to myself as “Today Nicole”, “Tomorrow Nicole”, and “Future Nicole”.

Nearly everything I did for eight years was for “Future Nicole”. I had to learn to tune out the wants of “Today Nicole” because otherwise “Tomorrow Nicole” would be left without food in the fridge, money in the bank, or gas in the car.

You see, “Today Nicole” is very lazy and self indulgent; she just wants to do what is best for right now.

Today Nicole doesn’t feel like exercising, she wants to watch TV in her sweat suit and eat McInflammation. Today Nicole wants to cross everything off her “To Do” list and deal with ALL responsibilities tomorrow. Today Nicole wants to bake under the hot summer sun. Today Nicole does not really care about malignant melanoma. Today Nicole hates grocery shopping. Once there, Today Nicole wants to buy frozen pizza and donut holes not fruits and vegetables. Today Nicole thinks it is fun to eat candy and drink Red Bull all day. At the end of a long day, Today Nicole wants to drive straight home and go to bed. Today Nicole is too tired to fill up the car with gas, she will put that burden off on Tomorrow Nicole.

Unfortunately Tomorrow Nicole is destined to become Today Nicole. Tomorrow Nicole is going to have a very bad day because she was forced to stop for gas which made her late for work. Tomorrow Nicole is going to have an irritable work day without breakfast or lunch. Tomorrow Nicole is going to be looking for some sort of unhealthy indulgence to cancel out the ills of her improperly planned day. Do you see how the vicious cycle of immediate gratification perpetuates?

I believe it is all about setting yourself up nice for later. Most everything I do right now is still for “Future Nicole”.

That may sound dismal and boring at first glance, but think about it… You want to avoid getting the “The Big Diagnosis” right? Well, doing so is not only going to set things up nice for later, but it is also going to make you FEEL GOOD today, tomorrow, and the next day. Preventing disease is as simple as taking a little bit of time out of your day to “buy groceries and fill the car with gas”. Preventing disease means having the forethought to eat your fruits and vegetables, drink pure clean water, order green tea instead of coffee, make the healthiest choice available, cut out fast food when possible, go to bed at a decent hour, keep a positive mental attitude, find abundant joy in the simple little things, and get some form of exercise each and every day.

The more we think about these things, the more they become a habit. Healthy habits form a healthy lifestyle. That lifestyle is the foundation to your future health. All you have to worry about are the little things. The rest is in God’s hands.

Certain genetics and environmental influences may occasionally confound our efforts to prevent disease. However, if or when I get “The Big Diagnosis” I want to at least be able to tell myself “You know what self? Well at least we did everything we could to prevent this from happening. Perhaps all our efforts even prolonged this from happening, or prevented additional suffering. Maybe all our efforts with diet and lifestyle even squeezed out a few extra golden years.”

Preventative Medicine is tough because we want it all now, with a side of ranch to dip it in. But someday “Today You” will inevitably be “Future You”. Hopefully it is a good day when the two finally meet.

What are your greatest fears around getting “The Big Diagnosis” and what are you doing to prevent them from occurring?

~ Dr. Nicole Sundene

Naturopathic Physician
www.KitchenTableMedicine.com

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Cellulite Reduction: The Best Treatments

By Bonnie Pfiester, Fitness Trainer.

Someone once asked me if I knew of anything that would help get rid of cellulite.

I am proud to say I do!

My answer isn’t a cream nor is it a complicated surgical procedure. My solution is something that has been around for years – diet and exercise.

Surprised?

You see, I don’t believe the issue is always the lumpy fat we call cellulite, but the problem can be magnified by the result of muscle deterioration. The unfortunate combination can leave skin loose and lumpy.

Let’s look at the facts. Women who do not exercise lose an average of 5 pounds of muscle per decade before menopause and a pound a year thereafter. Since cellulite is more common for women, this causes a couple of problems.

Each pound of lean muscle lost decreases your metabolism, making it easier to gain weight. If you already have a problem with cellulite, the slowing metabolism will only make matters worse. Weight gain causes the cellulite to be more pronounced as the fat cells grow.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the firm muscle that once supported the skin and fat is now shrinking. Lumpy fat cells are growing and smooth firm muscle is withering away. Have I scared you into working out yet?

Let me encourage you. Although diet and exercise may not get rid of all the cellulite in the world, it sure can make a huge difference. A low-calorie diet can reduce and manage overall body fat, affecting the size and visibility of cellulite.

Exercising to preserve or increase lean muscle mass can prevent, and even reverse, a lot of the problems. Building lean muscle not only increases your metabolism to help fight weight gain but it builds firm shapely muscle to support and smooth out our aging skin.

Some may argue, but I have seen too many transformations as a result of diet and exercise that are undeniable proof that it can work. Although diet and exercise may not always get rid of the problem completely, I bet it works ten times better than any cellulite cream on the market!

~Bonnie

Bonnie Pfiester is a Personal Trainer and owner of the health club Longevity Fitness. You can enjoy more of Bonnie’s fitness and beauty articles at www.BonniePfiester.com .

You are invited to leave your fitness and sports nutrition questions in the comments below for Bonnie to briefly answer or write about in future articles.

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How I Gave Myself a Hot Flash

One day I was hanging out with a girlfriend drinking coffee before we headed to our favorite Thai Food restaurant.

I ordered a glass of red wine (you know because the polyphenols are going to prevent me from having a heart attack someday), and my favorite curry seafood basket (because curry is a fabulous superfood).

Halfway through dinner, I suddenly broke out in a TERRIBLE sweat.

I was unbearably hot!!!

Almost as hot as my friend when he accidentally mistook the entire chunk of green wasabi for a piece of sushi! Being a big fan of Chinese Medicine I immediately began to analyze the energetic properties of the foods that I had just consumed. Everything was heating. Coffee, red wine, curry…

Worse yet I realized I had just consumed everything on the “NO NO” list for the menopausal diet.

Gosh no wonder caffeine, alcohol, and spicy foods are so forbidden for those with hot flashes! I am nowhere even near menopause and I gave myself a hot flash from this terrible trifecta of thermogenic trauma.

The next day I had a friend at work ask me how naturopathic medicine could help her hot flashes. I gave her my typical spiel on the “Naturopathic Approach to Menopause” and “Nutrition Care During Menopause” along with some individualized recommendations. When I got to the spicy foods, caffeine, sugar, and alcohol part she rolled her eyes and said…

“Well that is my entire diet! How can I not eat those things?”

Busting out the tough love, I responded “Well maybe that is why you have been suffering from these horrible hot flashes for five plus some odd years that appear to be refractory to most common treatments including hormone replacement therapy.”

Instead of asking her to take my word on it, I simply said “Go eat all of those things in one meal and come back and tell me how you felt.”

The hot flashes that she had that night and over the next 24 hour period were some of the worst EVER, she reported, after her “menopausal showcase showdown” that involved a bottle of red wine, spicy spaghetti (which she added extra red pepper flakes to), tiramisu and a double espresso for dessert. Enough to make just about anyone break in to a sweat.

Oftentimes whatever food we are attached to in life is EXACTLY what makes us sick.

The patient with high cholesterol loves their meat and fried foods, the hypertensive patient shakes salt liberally on every meal, the diabetic patient sits in the grocery store parking lot and frantically eats a box of donuts after a stressful day. I could go on and on all day with these examples, but my point is that food should be nourishment and nothing else. What we should enjoy about food is how it makes us feel. Recognizing food as nourishment is the key to keeping our health in balance. If we are going to eat indulgences, we should enjoy them in moderation. The body forgives moderation better than it does an entire meal that promotes disease or uncomfortable symptoms.

Thanks for stopping by my kitchen table!

~ Dr. Nicole Sundene

Naturopathic Physician
www.KitchenTableMedicine.com

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Happy Birthday to…Everyone!

Ever since med school, I became terrible about remembering birthdays. Becoming a doctor certainly did not make me more thoughtful or provide me with more free time to hand make gifts and such.

So, in order for me to feel all “caught back up” I am going to just celebrate everybody’s birthday today!

Really June is a fabulous time for a birthday party. As a child I was always envious of people with June birthdays. Ponies, balloons, flowers, and birthday cake all look best behind the blue summer sky of June.

What shall you be receiving this year from me for your birthday? Read more

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Are you suffering from a TERMINAL case of “The I Can’ts”?

I would like to make the official announcement that starting tomorrow I am going to fine anyone that says “I can’t” twenty dollars.

As much as this might be an elaborate scheme to support the “Dr. Nicole Early Retirement Plan” I will absolutely need to retire early if I am forced to continuously battle all the negative and self limiting statements that begin with “I can’t”. Read more

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Healthy Body=Healthy Earth

Happy Earth Day Everyone!

In honor of this important day I am going to talk about ways to improve your diet for your own health as well as the health of the environment.

First of all just keeping yourself healthy is the best thing you can do for the earth. When people are sick the use of drugs, herbs and other alternative medicines increases the amount of waste factories have to produce.

Although plants and natural substances are a better environmental choice they still take their toll on the environment.

Just because herbs are natural doesn’t mean that using them is always the best choice for the earth. Many popular herbs are actually in danger of becoming extinct and we need to use them sparingly and only when they are absolutely needed.

Now most of you are already savvy on the use of recycled and reused goods, so here are my top tips for improving your diet to support your health as well as sustainable living: Read more

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Tell Me What is in your Shopping Cart and I will Tell You What is Wrong with You…

My favorite thing to do at the grocery store is people watch.

Oftentimes my blatant stares are grossly mis-interpreted when in fact I am simply mesmerized by someone’s cart full of only bacon, yellow cheese, mayo, beer and white bread. “Wow that looks like an eczema fest followed by a heart attack on a plate”, I will silently think to myself as I rudely size up the health status of a stranger.

After years of interviewing people about their diet I have learned that many common disease states accompany the same bad food choices. Classics like diabetes, hypercholesterolemia, and high blood sugar all have very consistent dietary patterns. When I see a healthy vibrant person in a sweatsuit with a cart full of fruits and veggies, I feel that much more motivated to shop the perimeter of the store and avoid all the processed foods that lie in the “Danger Zone” within. When you think about it the perimeter of the store has all the produce and other whole foods choices. Fill your cart with those choices first before venturing in to the “Danger Zone”. Read more

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How are you Dealing with Life’s Trash?

A while back in med school I was totally broke and stuck at the grocery store deliberating over buying the small box of kitchen trash bags or the large box.

There was a significant savings in money from buying the larger box. Unfortunately, I was so poor at the time that the three bucks made a huge difference in my mind. After a long process, I thought about it and realized that the “trash in my life” was not going anywhere anytime soon.

I grabbed the large box of kitchen bags because buying the small box of garbage bags in my mind was not accepting the fact, nor making a serious commitment to removing the “trash” in my life.

Regardless if the trash in your life is compulsive behaviors, addictions, depression, anxiety, bad relationships, financial problems or what not, the first step to resolving the issue is to make a commitment to doing something about it every single day over a very long period of time. “Inch by inch is a cinch. Yard by yard is hard” they say… Read more

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Evolution and Weight Loss

Have you ever wondered why when you have a craving it is for such yummies as chocolate, cheese, or chips?

We as human beings have evolved to want to eat the sweetest and fattest things that we can because it gives us more “bang for our buck”. Or, more calories to store in our hips, thighs and belly for the long winter nights.

Everyone who is alive today has made an incredible evolutionary journey through times of very little food. We have a built-in need to want to store fat for the times of lean. What happens now, particularly in the United States, is there are no times of lean. We can get food at all hours of the day and mostly we do.

So understanding that part of what is driving us is a biological imperative may help you be kinder to yourself when you find yourself with an empty bag of chips in your hand at midnight. This does not mean, of course, that you should throw up your hands and decide that you have no control whatsoever and should then eat pizza (which is one of my favorite foods) and dessert any chance you can.

You do have control over your immediate environment. For instance, if it is not in the house, then late at night when you get the “bingies” (this is my weakest time, I don’t know about you) you won’t find anything to binge on. When you are first trying to lose weight, your body’s evolutionary “memory” will make it very hard to resist these foods so it is better not to be surrounded by them.

Read more

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Weight Loss Goals by Bonnie Pfiester

Many of us may even have the same annoying resolutions we neglect to keep each year. It’s not that we don’t want to keep them, but I think we forget that resolutions are not just words, desires or a phase. A resolution is supposed to be a pledge, an oath, a promise – and it requires change.

Think of it like a marriage. Marriage is the ultimate commitment where we make very important promises, which also requires change. “In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, ‘til death do us part.” There is a reason for these promises. God knows we will not always want or feel like loving the other. We pledge our commitment to love the other no matter what. These vows are the beginning of a whole new way of life which requires a daily decision to stick with it.

Of course, weight loss and health will always be at the top of the list of resolutions made. It’s not going to be enough to want to be skinny. It’s not going to even be enough to write it down or join a gym. You must commit to making a lifestyle change and stick with it.

Once a person is married, it is not healthy to continue doing some of the things they once did when they were single. In the same way, there are things that must change when deciding to live a healthy lifestyle. You can’t just do whatever you want without repercussions. The whole “have your cake and eat it too” rarely works in marriages or diets. In order to be healthy, you have to live healthy – day in and day out, whether you feel like it or not.

For this to work, you and your new lifestyle must be a priority. I don’t know many things that trump your health. Family is important and so are your friends, but you can’t be a good spouse, parent, boss, employee or friend if you don’t have your health. Unfortunately, unlike a marriage, you can’t divorce yourself either. You are stuck with you for the rest of your life so you are fooling yourself if you think it’s not a priority.

Truth is, this time you can’t afford for it not to be.

Author: Bonnie Pfiester, personal trainer

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Falling Victim to the Monkey Trap

Moving on in many ways means saying goodbye. The problem is, goodbyes are often hard, even when the place we are headed may be a good place to be. I don’t know why it is so hard to let go of the past, but it is. We prefer the “known” over the unknown I guess. Ironically, we often prefer the known even if the known is not a good place to be.

It may sound crazy, but I believe many of us don’t get to experience a lot of great things in life because we have such a strong grip on the past. This issue can also affect us when attempting to make New Year’s resolutions – especially when it comes to weight loss.

It reminds me the story of the monkey trap. The trap is basically a hollowed out coconut filled with rice. The coconut, which is chained to a stake, has a small hole in it just big enough for the monkey’s hand to go in but too small for his closed fist of rice to come out. Crazy as it seems, the monkey cannot see that freedom without rice is more valuable than being captured with it, and is trapped.

Like the monkey, we are often scared of losing something, like a favorite food or a certain lifestyle. While pride may stand in the way for some, others hold on to excuses. Unfortunately, many people simply accept things the way they are as if there were no other choice. In essence, we are no different than the monkey – trapped by our own decisions.

Sometimes we need to take a closer look at what is standing in the way of our success. What do we have such a tight grip on? What has kept us from making our New Year’s Resolutions stick last year or what prevented us from even making them to begin with? Whatever your answer is, this year is the year to let go so you can move on.

Bonnie Pfeister, personal trainer
www.longevityclubs.com

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Decorating your Party Plate

To bling or not to bling that is the question…

Although many tasty treats will be tempting me at various parties, I usually follow a pretty basic plan of attack to avoid letting them get the best of me. Gluttonous overeating can ruin the joy of socializing by zapping your energy, and making you fill ill. First and foremost fill your plate mostly with fruits and veggies.  Add a couple lean protein choice such as chicken, turkey, white cheese, hard boiled eggs, shrimp or salmon. The protein from these snacks combined with the fiber from the fruits and vegetables should reduce the glycemic load of the meal, thus stabilizing your blood sugar, and ultimately your energy levels.

Now that the protein “pants” of the plate have been picked out for the bottom half of the plate, and the top half of the plate’s outfit  has been dressed up with the perfect layers of fruits and veggies, you are ready to add your “bling” to your plate. Survey all your favorite treats and pick out one or two small ones that you will savor, a compromise to feeling deprived.  Dark chocolate truffles are always a good choice as they are satisfying while also rich in antioxidants. The key to not overeating typically is to simply not over restrict yourself. You can be perfect all you want in your free time, but finding the middle road and sticking to that is success in my opinion for most people in a party setting.

Survey all your favorite treats and pick out one or two that you will enjoy and will leave you not feeling deprived. These are your “bling”, I like to think of these treats as the “accessories”  for your plate.  According to Coco Chanel, less is more when accessorizing, and she always recommended to simply “take one thing off before walking out the door” in order to look fabulous.  Decide how hungry you are, and how important it is to you to have that extra bit of “holiday bling”. Did you work out today?  Then maybe you can have two “blings” and not just one. If you take two “blings” you always can reserve the right to take one off later.  Just leave it on the plate if you decide you don’t need it.

Be sure to sit down and take the time to really enjoy your food, especially the “bling”. You have my green light to liberally snack on fruits and veggies throughout the party.

Aside from preparing a perfect plate, try not to drink your calories by sticking to water as your primary beverage and limiting your consumption of alcohol. Try having a protein smoothie or similar snack before showing up at a party in order to avoid eating in a hungry holiday rage.  Boring parties are also a major cause of holiday overeating, so please do your best to avoid those whenever possible.

Remember the goal of the party is to socialize and have a fun time, and this is the recipe for success!

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