Stress Management

By Dr. KC Kelly – Ph.D. and Licensed Psychotherapist

Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman suggested in 1984 that stress can be thought of as resulting from an imbalance between demands and resources, or as occurring when pressure exceeds ones perceived ability to cope.

Stress management was developed and premised on the idea that stress is not a direct response to a stressor, but rather one’s resources and ability to cope and makes changes in his or her life, thus allowing stress to be controllable.

Stress can be good (called eustress) when it helps us perform better, or it can be bad (distress) when it causes upset or makes us sick.

The stress reaction results from an outpouring of adrenaline, a stimulant hormone, into the blood stream when a person is feeling distress. This, with other stress hormones, produces a number of changes in the body which are intended to be protective.

Professionals in the field of psychology have called this outpouring of hormones, the fight-or-flight response because when faced with a stressful situation, a person will either fight or run away from danger.

When encountering stress, a person may experience: an increase in heart rate, an increase in blood pressure (to get more blood to the muscles, brain and heart), faster breathing (to take in more oxygen), tensing of muscles (preparation for action), increased mental alertness and sensitivity of sense organs (to assess the situation and act quickly), increased blood flow to the brain, heart and muscles (the organs that are most important in dealing with danger) and less blood to the skin, digestive tract, kidneys and liver (where it is least needed in times of crisis), an increase in blood sugar, fats and cholesterol (for extra energy), and a rise in platelets and blood clotting factors (to prevent hemorrhage in case of injury).

What are the Common Symptoms of Stress?

Physical: fatigue, headache, insomnia, muscle aches/stiffness (especially neck, shoulders and low back), heart palpitations, chest pains, abdominal cramps, nausea, trembling, cold extremities, flushing or sweating and frequent colds, decrease in concentration and memory, indecisiveness, mind racing or going blank, confusion, loss of sense of humor, anxiety, nervousness, depression, anger, frustration, worry, fear, irritability, impatience, short temper, pacing, fidgeting, nervous habits (nail-biting, foot-tapping), increased eating, smoking, drinking, crying, yelling, swearing, blaming and even throwing things or hitting.

What Are the Causes of Stress?

Dr. Selye called the causes of stress stressors or triggers. There are two kinds of stressors: external and internal.

External stressors include:
Physical environment: noise, bright lights, heat, confined spaces.

Social interaction: rudeness, bossiness or aggressiveness on the part of someone

Organizational: rules, regulations, “red tape,” deadlines.

Major life events: death of a relative, lost job, promotion, new baby.

Daily hassles: commuting, misplacing keys, mechanical breakdowns.

Internal stressors include:

Lifestyle choices: caffeine, not enough sleep, overloaded schedule.

Negative self-talk: pessimistic thinking, self-criticism, over-analyzing.

Mind traps: unrealistic expectations, taking things personally, all-or-nothing thinking, exaggerating, rigid thinking.

Stressful personality traits: Type A, perfectionist, workaholic, pleaser.

It is important to note that most of the stress that many of us have is actually self-generated. This is a paradox because so many people think of external stressors when they are upset (it is the weather, the boss, the children, the spouse, the stock market). Recognizing that we create most of our own upsets, however, is an important first step to dealing with them.

Read an article on Basic Breathing Exercises to reduce stress

Read all our articles on stress

**Much of this information was prepared by Dr. David B. Posen Lifestyle Counselor and Psychotherapist, and Author of “Always Change a Losing Game”

Oakville, Ontario. Permission has been given for this information to be copied and distributed to patients.

Other information was obtained from:

Lazarus, R.S., and Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, Appraisal and Coping.

For personalized advice for coping with stress you can visit Dr. KC at www.docinthebiz.com

©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

Autism: A Case Example of Hope

Since it is “Autism Awareness Month” I have gathered together all my favorite autism experts to add their two cents to the topic.

Dr. KC Kelly is a psychotherapist who has many years of experience in helping autistic children and their families.

If you are a stressed parent of a child diagnosed on the autism spectrum, I would highly recommend writing in to Dr. KC for support, or seeking support somewhere, whether it be through a local or online support group.

Over at www.DocintheBIZ.com you can write in for professional confidential, caring support anytime. ~Dr. Nicole

“Autism: A Case Example of Hope”

by KC Kelly, Ph.D

Alex’s (name has been changed to protect anonymity) mother sat across from me and cried into her hands. “I just don’t know what to do anymore,” she began.

“From the moment he gets home from school, he races through the door and right to the couch in the living room where he throws all the pillows onto the floor and begins to run back and forth jumping all over both of the couches.

I’ve tried everything to stop him, but he doesn’t even seem to realize that I’m there. He’s in his own world. He climbs on the wall unit, breaking things and one day it almost fell over on him! He will also throw tantrums by screaming and crying at the top of his lungs for hours and I don’t know what he wants!” She stopped talking and continued to cry.

Alex has autism. He is five (5) years old and falls into the lower end of what we call the Autism Spectrum. He does not talk, does not communicate, and exhibits aggressive behaviors such as hitting, biting, pulling hair and scratching when he does not get what he wants.

What is Autism?

The experts define autism, also called autism spectrum disorders (ASD) or autism spectrum conditions (ASC), as a spectrum of psychological brain developmental disorders characterized by widespread abnormalities of social interactions and communication, and often patterns of highly repetitive behavior(s). Just like with any child, or any person with a disorder, symptoms and behaviors can vary greatly amongst those with autism.

The Bad News:
There is no known cure for autism.

The Good News:
No matter how low functioning the child, autism IS treatable and a child with autism CAN grow, learn and change.

The Scenario:
Alex goes to school in an autistic class and follows a schedule throughout his day with his peers. He works with professionals in the field of autism, so his behaviors ARE controlled to some degree. This is a definite indicator that Alex CAN learn at home.

My Challenge:
To help Mom become an expert, not necessarily on autism, but on her son.

How We Started:
Firstly, Mom and I did a home make-over into a child-proof safety zone. Next, we talked for a while about what needed to be done to help change Alex’s behaviors at home. I explained to Mom what Alex needed: Routine, Consistency, and Repetition as I witnessed a complete absence of all three of these imperative factors for change in the home. Sound simple to do? Well, the idea is simple. The execution of the idea? Not so much.

1. Routine: An autistic child needs a steady, consistent and solid daily routine. They also need to know what the routine is in a very visible, clear and easy to understand way. If an autistic child does not have a daily routine, this could be the reasoning behind exacerbated acting out behavior(s).

I made Alex a picture schedule including his entire day of activities from the moment he woke up in the morning until bedtime. Introducing the schedule to Alex was not easy, but with repetition, he stopped testing us and it became routine. Now the test would be to see if Mom could enforce this consistently everyday.

Note: Schedules can be made using either use words or pictures depending on the academic level of the child. The schedule is usually made from small laminated cut outs containing the words or pictures, and with the use of velcro, are put upon a rectangular shaped piece of colored cardboard. (This is how I do it.)

The activities of the day are all present and flipped over to show completion. A child should never start an activity without checking their schedule, and similarly, he/she should never end an activity without flipping the piece over and seeing what is next on the schedule.

2. Consistency: Never break the routine. I understand that “life happens” and we must leave room for flexibility; however, for the most part, the way a child is going to learn best is through consistency. The best way for an autistic child to learn is when they know what to expect. This also helps to reduce anxiety and increase reliability and a comfort level conducive to learning.

3. Repetition: An autistic child needs repetition. In order to learn, things must be done over and over and over again. It is important to have patience and if your child is not “getting it” right away, try not to get upset. Instead, take a deep breath and DO IT AGAIN. Repeat, repeat, repeat. And then praise.

Important: When introducing something new to an autistic child, you want to do so in a soft and gentle, yet firm manner. It may be very frustrating at times; however, use you must use repetition without losing patience. I promise you will be rewarded when manipulation ceases and learning begins. I also showed Mom how Alex learned that FIRST he will do a task and THEN he will get rewarded. I usually like rewarding with verbal praise or a small healthy snack. It all depends on to what the child responds best.

The Terrible Tantrums:

“Alex will SCREAM and cry for HOURS,” said Mom with exasperation. It was indeed a piercing scream that I witnessed myself on many occasions, and when I think of that noise today, my ears start to ring. I made pictures of basic needs, such as bathroom, hungry, thirsty, pain and demonstrated to Mom how to use these with Alex.

If none of those things were bothering Alex, we knew he was attempting to manipulate Mom for attention or because he was upset that he didn’t get something that he wanted. Mom needed to stay consistent in not giving in to Alex’s tantrums no matter how heart breaking they were to watch. She needed to allow him to “cry it out” until he was willing to either communicate with us using his pictures or give up his manipulating tactic.

Remember: We need to never get upset at a child who has difficulty communicating, but help them the best we can to let us know what they want/need.

After working for approximately 6 weeks, 2x/week with Mom and Alex, Alex changed his behavior at home dramatically. It was a long road. It was a frustrating road. But it paid off. Now that I’m not there anymore in the home to help, I can only hope that Mom (and I DO understand how difficult it is) will remain consistent with Alex’s home routine and use repetition, patience, and love when teaching him new things.

If you are looking to get some specific questions answered about autism or to help you with an autistic child, whether the child is your own or a student of yours, please feel free to write to me at: www.DOCintheBiz.com. I would love to hear from you.

All my best,
KC Kelly, Ph.D.

Related reading:

Autism Awareness Month

Autism: 10 Strategies for Implementing Diet Changes

The Autism Diet Connection

Autism: 10 Tips for Everyone

Click Here to Read More Kitchen Table Medicine Articles

©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

What is Anxiety?

By KC Kelly, Ph.D., LMHC
Stress and anxiety are a natural part of everyday life and most of us experience it more often than not in today’s very stressful world. It is also very natural to worry about your hectic life from time to time. “Anxiety” is usually referred to as worry, concern, stress, or nervousness.

Believe it or not, anxious feelings can sometimes be a good thing. Having this heightened sense can actually help to motivate a person to prepare for a big test in school, speech at work, or by keeping a person on his/her toes in potentially dangerous situations, to name only a few examples. Occasional anxiety isn’t something to be concerned about.

However, if the worries, stress, or anxious feelings become overwhelming and you feel as though these feelings are getting in the way of your everyday quality of life, these may be signs that you may have an anxiety problem or disorder. Below are descriptions of the different anxiety disorders. Remember as you read, not to be frightened by the symptoms. An anxiety disorder is a serious condition, yes, but the good news is that it is also one of the most treatable emotional disorders!

ANXIETY DISORDERS

Anxiety disorders are serious medical illnesses that affect approximately 40 million American adults aged 16 years and older in a given year, causing them to be filled with overwhelming fearfulness and uncertainty. People usually experience anxiety about events they cannot control or predict, or about events that seem threatening or dangerous.

Sometimes people feel anxious without any known cause. Unlike the relatively mild, brief anxiety caused by a stressful event such as an audition or performing in front of a live audience, anxiety disorders are chronic, relentless, and can grow progressively worse if not treated.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is characterized by excessive thinking and dwelling on the “what ifs”. As a result, the person feels there is no way out of the vicious cycle of anxiety and worry, and then becomes depressed about life and the state of anxiety they feel. This is a relatively common anxiety problem, affecting about 6.8 million adult Americans.

Panic Disorder can leave people with feelings of terror that strike suddenly and repeatedly, many times, without warning. They can’t predict when an attack will occur, and many develop intense anxiety between episodes, worrying when and where the next one will strike.

You may genuinely believe you’re having a heart attack, losing your mind, or are on the verge of death. Unless you have a bad heart that has been officially diagnosed, anxiety CANNOT KILL YOU! Panic attacks can occur at any time, even during sleep. Panic disorder affects about 6 million American adults.

Agoraphobia develops when a person has such an intense fear of having a panic attack that they avoid going anywhere they think it could possibly occur. The fear of social embarrassment of having a panic attack or losing control in public often causing a person to become confined to their homes, experiencing difficulty traveling from their “safe place.”

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) involves anxious thoughts or rituals you feel you can’t control. If you have OCD, you may be plagued by persistent, unwelcome thoughts or images, or by the urgent need to engage in certain rituals. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (CPD) entails a cluster of characteristics of behavior marked by inflexibility in order to pursue perfectionism, orderliness, and control (DSM-IV). OCD affects about 2.2 million American adults.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating condition that can develop following a terrifying event. Often, people with PTSD have persistent frightening thoughts and memories of their ordeal and feel emotionally numb, especially with people to whom they were once close. Whatever the source of the problem, some people with PTSD repeatedly relive the trauma in the form of nightmares and disturbing recollections during the day.

They may also experience other sleep problems, feel detached or emotionally paralyzed, or be easily startled. They may lose interest in things they used to enjoy and have trouble feeling affectionate. They may feel irritable, more aggressive than before, or even violent. Things that remind them of the trauma may be very distressing, which could lead them to avoid certain places or situations that bring back those memories. Anniversaries of the traumatic event are often very troubling times. PTSD affects about 7.7 million American adults.

Social Phobia, also called Social Anxiety Disorder involves overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations. People with social phobia have a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions.

Their fear may be so severe that it interferes with work or school, and other ordinary activities. While many people with social phobia recognize that their fear of being around people may be excessive or unreasonable, they are unable to overcome it. They often worry for days or weeks in advance of a dreaded situation. Social phobia affects about 15 million American adults.

Specific Phobia is an intense fear of something that poses little or no actual danger. Some of the more common specific phobias are centered around closed-in places, heights, escalators, tunnels, highway driving, water, flying, dogs, clowns, and injuries involving blood. Such phobias aren’t just extreme fear; they are also irrational fears of particular things. Specific phobias affect an estimated 16.2 million adult Americans.

TREATMENT: Effective treatments for anxiety disorders are available, and research is yielding new, improved therapies that can help most people with anxiety disorders lead productive, fulfilling lives. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be very effective in treating an anxiety disorder.

If you think you may be suffering with any of these symptoms, or would just like to talk with a professional in a caring and completely confidential way, please visit www.DOCintheBiz.comwhere you will be able to email us for private and confidential help from your own home! You will never be made to leave your house or comfort zone. Write to us at your convenience!

Article on breathing exercises

Article on Square Breathing

Read all our articles on anxiety

Statistical information reported on this page was obtained from The National Institute of Mental Health

©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

Meet Dr. KC Kelly Online Psychotherapist at DOCintheBiz

Editorial Note: Please welcome to the kitchen table a very dear friend of mine, guest author Dr. KC Kelly, licensed psychotherapist…

Hi! I am KC Kelly, Ph.D., LMHC and I was invited to introduce myself here at one of my favorite alternative medicine and health care informational websites, Kitchen Table Medicine. I’d like to share with you what online counseling or psychotherapy (also called E-therapy) is all about and what I have to offer at DOCintheBiz.com.

Millions of people search the Internet every day for total health care information. Now, I have embarked on a whole new frontier of offering a single place to find a plethora of mental/emotional health information including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, personality disorders, relationship issues, self esteem, stress management, time management, and so much more! I also offer online counseling or therapy! One click to DOCintheBiz.com takes you to a safe and comfortable place where all your mental/emotional health needs can be met!

Before you go there, please allow me to share with you, who I am and some facts about online counseling or therapy.

First of all, one of the most important factors to consider when entering into therapy or counseling is the relationship you have with your therapist. A special kind of trust and rapport needs to be present or the therapy will not be successful. Not every therapist is for every client and visa versa and that is why it is imperative that you “interview” or get to know your therapist before beginning a therapeutic relationship with him or her.

At DOCintheBiz.com, I give you the opportunity to read a multitude of articles that I have written on a vast amount of topics so that you can get to know me, how I write, and how I work with clients. I write one article/week (sometimes more) and try to write based on the information that people request. I encourage my readers to comment on all my articles and I answer each and every commentary. I invite you to visit my blog and see what you think at DOCintheBiz.com.

The next step is to understand that E-therapy directly addresses a major problem uncovered by the Surgeon General’s Report on Mental Health (1999) which stated that while one American in five has a diagnosable psychological problem, nearly two-thirds of them never seek treatment. Online therapy or counseling should be for mild to moderate concerns or issues you may be having. Online counseling or therapy is a great way to discuss issues, find solutions, and find ways to change your life for the better!

What Dr. KC’s online counseling or therapy DOES provide:

1. Therapeutic help from a professional, caring, compassionate, and understanding therapist who puts YOUR needs first without an ounce of judgment
2. The ability to get to core issues more quickly, sometimes in the first lines of an email
3. Complete confidentiality and ability to keep 100% anonymous (discussed in disclaimer)
4. Convenience of never needing to leave your home and reaching out when YOU want to
5. Affordable low cost services HIGHLY worth the small investment (it’s YOUR health!)
6. Quick, solid, informational, expert and thoughtful responses to your issues and questions

What Dr. KC’s online counseling or therapy DOES NOT provide:

1. Help for severe crisis situations- It is not that Dr. KC does not work with crisis situations (in person); however, when someone writes in online for help with a crisis, he/she is urged to please call 911 or a crisis hotline for IMMEDIATE help.

Thank you to Kitchen Table Medicine and your readers for giving me the opportunity to introduce myself and to share a brief understanding of what online counseling or therapy involves. I hope that you will visit me at DOCintheBiz.com for more detailed information.

If you are having concerns, it is OK if I’m not the one helping you; however, I do urge you to reach out and ask for assistance! Someone is there to take your hand and help guide you to a better, happier, and healthier life. YOU’RE WORTH IT!

~Dr. KC
www.DOCintheBiz.com
www.GLCzone.com

©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™