Etiquette: Disease and Dating

No, no, no… this is not a nag about STD’s and dating today, people!

This is a guest post from my favorite Relationship Columnist, and dear friend, “Miss Matchmaker” herself.

She has worked as a social worker, therapist, and has been a professional Matchmaker for the largest Matchmaking company on the Gulf Coast for the past 13 years, and her advice is always spot on.

When I heard this story, I was baffled and asked her to share it at the kitchen table.

Frankly, your health condition is no one’s business but your own, and if you are privileged to be privy of someone’s health condition you should never gossip about it, nor scapegoat it.

Please respect confidentiality with the same professionalism that doctors, nurses and HCPs everywhere kindly maintain thanks to The Hippocratic Oath which I highly recommend everyone in need of a little inspiration reads. ~Dr. Nicole

“The Etiquette of Disease and Dating”

By Denise Paravate, Missmatchmaker

Disease is a very serious component in the life of anyone who must deal with it on a daily basis. We have doctors who dictate treatment and therapy, and sometimes there are people who step in to help with the emotional aspects of disease, but how often is there someone at your side explaining to you the social components of disease when it comes to dating?

Several months ago I was involved in a relationship in which I had kept my physical history private. I did so for several reasons. Number one, I don’t look sick. Number two, I didn’t want to scare him away. This being the most popular route for people in the same situation as myself, I felt it worthy of discussion.

After dating for 6 weeks and spending several nights under the same roof, the inevitable happened. We had been out with friends, and previous to our social engagement we had a bit of a tat, so to speak. After a few cocktails, he pipes up with “well at least I don’t have to drug myself down every night before bed.” In front of all of our mutual friends, I explained to him that I had been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis as a child, Fibromyalgia in college, and Peri-Menopause at the age of 35.

I explained that my evening cocktail of medications helps me to function as a “normal” person and that I was the kid who saw Disney for the first time in a wheel chair. I then went on to explain that I may not be able to ever have another child and that without my hormone pills, I would be the psycho woman throwing chairs out windows between hot flashes as I attempt to stand up from my wheelchair (of which I would be in because I didn’t take my RA meds) and I didn’t think that was a person he would enjoy meeting.

Lesson learned, maybe I should have told him sooner. People have preconceived notions about medications and what “sick” really is. As a matchmaker, I preach to my clients to always be honest with their dates, but at what point is too much information just too much information…

When it comes to dating I believe that yes, honesty is the best way, but “TMI” (too much information) can sometimes scare the potential suitor away. So what is the best policy? From my own experiences I must say that it is probably best to keep things on a need to know basis. I don’t necessarily believe that it is something that should be shared on a first or second date. When it gets to the point where you are seeing someone on a regular basis and they are learning your daily routine, then it may be time to fill them in.

I don’t like the idea of keeping secrets and that is not what I am trying to imply. All I am saying is that if you live with chronic disease, life is hard enough and if you plan on sharing your life with someone, they have the right to know just how hard it is. I think now looking back that the best way to handle the situation would be to talk about it first and educate the other person about your particular issues.

Some people may be scared to do so because they would not want to discourage a blooming relationship, but understand that if you try to keep it a secret, chances are it will blow up in your face at some point later anyway. If that person chooses to not be with you because of the challenges you face, then that just means it was not the person for you and maybe it is best you move on.

Dating is hard enough. Disease is even harder. Combining the two can be a challenge!

~Denise Paravate

Dr. Nicole Sundene, NMD is a licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor at Fountain Hills Naturopathic Medicine 16719 E Palisades Blvd, Suite 205, Fountain Hills, AZ 85268.

She believes we should utilize natural medicines to treat the root cause of disease rather than just treating symptoms, as symptoms are a message of imbalance sent from the body and will persist until they are properly addressed.

For appointments please visit http://FHnaturopathic.com for more information about Naturopathic Medicine services.
©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

Dr. Nicole’s Opinion on Your Kid’s Facebook Profile

By Dr. Nicole Sundene

Since I am a doctor of a younger Facebooking generation, I understand social networking like Facebook, Myspace, Friendster, Twitter and so forth, better than the average bear.

I also use a few of them myself to promote Kitchen Table Medicine.

At a recent family gathering the topic of kids on Facebook came up.

As my sister stated, “I think the age group for Facebook is about 35 and under,” and she is somewhat right.

Since I am on Facebook to promote Kitchen Table Medicine (please become a fan of my group so I can “look cool” to my sponsors…I know - shameless!) I have come across some odd characters…even for me!

For an adult, it is as simple as “X”ing them out of my world or hitting the delete button.
With 800 “friends”, I never hesitate to delete someone who is negative or has possible ill intentions; however, your child should not have these “cyberfriends” - they should only be allowed to be friends with people they know in real life (RLF if you want to sound hip!)

Facebook Do’s:

• Do allow your fourteen year old child to have an account that you monitor until they are 18 years of age. Since “everyone else is doing it” now, being too stringent may cause consequences stemming from over-parenting; try to compromise. Obviously the safest choice is to keep them offline completely. Make sure they understand it is a joint account that you have the right to log in to every day and check out if you wish. The more transparency that exists between you and your child, the safer your child is from internet predators.

• Do ask a friend or family member that spends a lot of time on the site your child wants to be on to request them as a friend and check in on their page every day if it is something you don’t have time to do. For all my little cousins….Dr. Nicole is WATCHING YOU!!!

• Do keep your computer in an open family room area, so that whatever they are doing online is seen by everyone else in the household.

• Do have access to the log in and password to their account. Remember as I stated in “How to Keep Your Kids off Drugs” any illegal actions they commit on the internet, or otherwise, you may be held legally liable for until they are 18. Furthermore, your child may not even be aware they are committing a crime. Common sense rarely sets in before teendom!

• Do check out all their friends and make sure they are the friends you know.

• Do be stylish about it! Coco Chanel, the queen of simple accessories, has it right when it comes to accessorizing your child’s Facebook account. Do not allow for multiple pictures, and definitely do not allow for any personal information, such as the school they go to or the town they live in, on their profile. If they argue about this, settle for allowing their school as their only bit of “info” aside from their “about me” section.

• Do have adequate anti-virus protection on your computer. As I discuss below, these social media sites are filled with pedophiles, internet thieves, phishers and scammers. So watch out. I would use one computer for online banking/purchasing and keep the family computer out in the family room, kitchen, or most popular area for everyone to share. Educate your child on these phishing scams and tell them to ALWAYS check the browser to make sure they are logging in to www.facebook.com and not something that looks very similar to that.

• Do add your own helpful Facebook tip for other parents struggling with these same issues.

Facebook Don’ts:

• Don’t let child under the age of 14 have an account. A seven year old child does NOT need to be social networking, and anytime you post pictures of your children on the internet they are that much more susceptible to pedophiles, freaks, kidnappers, who knows?!?!?!? Call me paranoid but we have to weigh the checks and balances.

• Don’t allow your child to be “friends” with someone they don’t know in real life. If they get such a request, it should be deleted or shown to you promptly. From just ONE message or comment exchange, an internet predator can use your IP address to locate your home and your child….isn’t that terrifying?

• Don’t allow for profile pictures that are too cute, cutesy, seductive, fun, or otherwise. If it were my child, I would not even allow for them to use their photo as their profile photo. The name should be enough for those that actually know them. A flower, favorite food, vacation spot or pic of the family pet is your safest bet.

• Don’t allow your child to bully you on this topic. You are the parent and having these accounts should be always viewed as a privilege. If they don’t like it read through these rules that I have composed. Let them hate me….heck I don’t care! I am on Facebook, and I am just looking out for them. I encounter creepy people all the time because I use Facebook to promote Kitchen Table, and never hesitate to delete anyone negative, stalkerish, or someone who gives me a bad vibe. Better to be safe than sorry right?

• Don’t ever forget that this is your house they live in, you are legally responsible for any problems they create, and worse ye,t emotionally responsible for a bad outcome with Facebook, Myspace, etc as happened with some cyberbullying on Myspace that resulted in a child committing suicide and the other child and parent were sued and held accountable.

• Don’t use passwords used for business related matters. Never ever ever forget that these profiles are perfect ways for ID theft to occur, so tell your child not to click on anything that looks “fishy” ie “phishing scam” where internet thieves are searching for people to log in to a “fake profile page” and once the scammer has your log in password they can then use it to gain credit card, banking, and even IRS information, or just completely hack your computer altogether.

So what other do/don’ts can you recommend to help out other parents challenged by this topic?

Read more: Pediatrics

Dr. Nicole Sundene, NMD is a licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor at Fountain Hills Naturopathic Medicine 16719 E Palisades Blvd, Suite 205, Fountain Hills, AZ 85268.

She believes we should utilize natural medicines to treat the root cause of disease rather than just treating symptoms, as symptoms are a message of imbalance sent from the body and will persist until they are properly addressed.

For appointments please visit http://FHnaturopathic.com for more information about Naturopathic Medicine services.
©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

If a Shrimp Can Run on a Treadmill…So Can YOU!

Okay Kitchen Table readers - May is weight loss month, so if this shrimp can run on a treadmill…then so can you! Better yet, get out there on those sunny spring days and hit the pavement.

~Dr. Nicole

Dr. Nicole Sundene, NMD is a licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor at Fountain Hills Naturopathic Medicine 16719 E Palisades Blvd, Suite 205, Fountain Hills, AZ 85268.

She believes we should utilize natural medicines to treat the root cause of disease rather than just treating symptoms, as symptoms are a message of imbalance sent from the body and will persist until they are properly addressed.

For appointments please visit http://FHnaturopathic.com for more information about Naturopathic Medicine services.
©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

Dr. Nicole Needs Fan Mail!!!

Dear Readers,

Thank you for giving me some fan mail to open up at the kitchen table…keep it coming people!

Nothing inspires me to research and write like a reader emailing me to share how a simple tip has changed their life.

Oftentimes I read and research till the wee hours. If you enjoy reading Kitchen Table Medicine please just leave a comment on this page!

Thanks a gazillion!

~Dr. Nicole Sundene

Joe Said:

Always interesting and informative. I constantly find myself forwarding the link to friends and family members. Crotchety Old Man The Joy of Toast

timethief Said:

Dr. Nicole Sundene is a Naturopathic Physician, graduate of Bastyr University, and the author of Kitchen Table Medicine. Her blog is a treasure house richly stocked with naturopathic health and well being information. Her well written conversational style blog posts impart the facts and emphasize conscious living and preventative medicine. Readers are encouraged to ask questions and DocNicole provide spractical advice that gradually coaches readers to live a healthier diet and lifestyle. Some highlights indicative of the range of coverage include: * Healthy Whole Foods Eating * Exercise and daily movement * Time spent outdoors appreciating the beauty of nature * Pure clean fresh water * Sleep * Smoking Cessation * Permanent weight loss through adopting better eating and exercise habits * Giving up sugar or dessert * Adopting a more positive mental attitude * Stress management One Cool Site: WordPress Blogging Tips thistimethisspace.com

Doc KC Said:

Dr. Nicole Sundene from Kitchen Table Medicine is not only an extremely intelligent and professional naturopathic physician, but also a kind, warm, compassionate as well as fun and creative woman. Her “kitchen table” for alternative medicine news and tips on herbal medicine, diet, nutrition, and exercise is extremely well written and informative. If you have any questions as to health, nutrition, or other related topics, this is the place to go! As open minded and non-judgmental as Dr. Nicole is, you’re sure to feel very comfortable confiding in her. Doc KC www.DOCintheBiz.com Dr. KC’s Blog

Benny Greenberg Said:

You got to love this site. A no nonsense approach to being healthier and a lot of tongue in cheek humor from our newest cutest Doc to grace the blog world. All seriousness. Dr. Nicole is great at presenting what she is telling us and all the while making us healthy! Ben http://ya-ttitude.com

Robin Easton Said:

Hi Doc, I just love your site and you. You not only present exciting and highly useful advice but you come across as someone who is full of vitality and life. Nothing could create a better environment for healing. You vivaciousness is contagious and many of your health tips are ones that people can start using right away. I am so glad you are on the internet. You not only help people heal but you make the internet a healthier place just being on it, which I REALLY appreciate. Bless you and thanks. Robin Easton nakedineden.com/nakedinedenblog/ www.nakedineden.com

JD Said:

Gotta love the good Doctor. Her blog is not only informative and good for you! BluntWit.com

rob Said:

Wonderful place to for a tune up. I love your blog. Rob’s Megaphone Blog

ortho Said:

I am afraid I’ll be boring and also give a 10 The blog is just amazing. Excellent writing and the layout is also memorable. From a designer’s point of view and also from an avid reader’s side I can’t do anything but congratulate you for this amazing creation Orthodontics Today WebMaster Blog

Jack Payne Said:

A “Treasure Chest” of health information if ever there was one. There simply are not enough hours in the day. I’ve spotted several pieces in the Archives that I will only have to return to time and again–to read, as time permits. Great job, Doc. The writing is first-rate. You REALLY have a Blog to be proud of. The Con Man’s Blog

Edwin Reyes Said:

a great site. A simple blog but it helps a lot. Congratulation for being on the most popular blog. just continue and you’re helping a lot of people. thanks for this great info

Ange Recchia Said:

I love Doc Nicoles posts and encourage you to read them to. Great practical advice to help anyone who is out of touch with alternative methods and medicines. Thanks for such a great blog!

Loraleigh Vance Said:

Wow! I love the layout and graphics just to start with! And your panel of experts is impressive! Thanks for putting together such a great resource.

Tony Said:

Excellent blog. Contains valuable information explained in a way that makes it easy to grasp.

Keep on doing what you are and you will end up with a major blog publication. You have every skill it takes.

Owner of www.BlogCatalog.com the premier directory for blogs on the internet!

timethief Said:

Having access your blog is like getting the keys to a treasure house richly stocked with naturopathic health and wellbeing information. I have benefited greatly from reading your articles pertaining to fibromyalgia, raynauds and arthritis. In addition, the diet you specifically prepared for people like me is just what my body needed. I love your sunny attitude and admire the way you encourage us to develop better eating and exercise habits and a positive attitude. Thanks so much for sharing your expertise and loving kindness online. It’s a much appreciated blessing. Namaste, Timethief thistimethisspace.com

robin Said:

I love your blog. I believe food and natural occuring things will keep us healthy. I’ll be happy to send readers your way so they can learn and maybe stay healthy. Robin

Erik Johnels Said:

Great site, lots of clear concise and helpful information. A little hard to navigate, but this is clearly a no BS zone!. Keep up the good work.

nardeeisms Said:

Doc, this is great. So colorful, so welcoming and so informative… Where’s the ‘11′ on the rating box?- Nards

Brandi Magill Said:

I love your blog, so informative! Can’t wait to visit again:~)

Anne Said:

This is my new favorite blog! If you want to know why, you’ll just have to go and check it out for yourself

NancyEllyn Said:

Love your blog!

Gibraltar Said:

The tips are very helpful. Great work.

Jubie Said:

Doc! An “A-10″ rating for you! I really like how you simply add natural remedies and health tips to each post! I’m following you too! Great job!

Alexander M Zoltai Said:

Added your blog to my RSS Reader… ~ Alex

Michael de`OZ Said:

Keep up the great work:)

Tricia Said:

I found this site to be very informative. Lots of useful information, well written, and easy to follow. Really good resource if you wish to lead a healthier lifestyle.

Erin Said:

This was a greta site. I especially liked the info on Coca Cola making a softdrink which uses Stevia. My family avoids artificial sweetners and white sugar so most soft drinks are out.

Skip Kanester Said:

Wow, glad I found your blog. A wealth of great info!! The more we can help people take responsibility for their lives, one baby step at a time, the better! Keep up the good work.

Turmoyle Said:

You’ve really got a great blog here…loads of useful information, well organized…I will be visiting often!

Larry Janson Said:

Kitchen Table advice worthy of the whole house!!! I just used your stress management Zen Breathing techniques to blissedful results!!!

Robin Easton Said:

This is a GREAT idea! I’ve been eating and living healthy for years and use herbs and homeopathy as well. It is so good to see someone on the internet making this kind of advice available. Good for you. It’s time for people to take back control of their own health.

Jay O. Said:

Very informative and well-written.

Angie Alaniz Said:

Great info. and well written.

May 2008 Kitchen Table Medicine

is the #1 MOST POPULAR BLOG on Blog Catalog

one of the largest blog directories on the internet!

REVIEW by Daniel at Blog Catalog the premier blog directory on the internet:

“Dr. Nicole Sundene is the author of Kitchen Table Medicine. An easy to read, informative, and down to earth blog about nutrition, health and alternative medicine….It’s easy to see why BlogCatalog members have made this our Blog of the Week. Nicole has created a top notch blog and…read the rest of this review on Kitchen Table Medicine”

REVIEW of Kitchen Table Medicine at “Blogging Without a Blog” by Barbara Swafford

“…tips on what foods to eat, how to reduce stress by knitting, how smiling can prevent heart disease, computer and desk ergonomics, help for seasonal depression , plus numerous other topics written by herself and/or a writer from her “featured writers” page…professionals also engaged in the world of health/fitness Although a website should never replace your family doctor (see her disclaimer), this site is filled with fantastic information on health and fitness…..read the rest of this article about Kitchen Table Medicine”

REVIEW by Sean Rasmussen of Do You Digg It “…What’s great about Kitchen Table Medicine is that it is not another health blog that doesn’t really give advice. This blog (which of course offers its own healthy

dose of disclaimers and advisement for personal professional attention by qualified health professionals) details the foods, diets, practices, and products that you can use to live better.

It raises all the issues related to living better, including knowing what to use, how to use it and when, and what to change psychologically to incorporate real, lasting, healthy change; and it offers a platform where people can ask and learn of

qualified natural health professionals, and get real responses to questions (and participate in Dr. Nicole’s poll to tell her what you want her to write about)….

Kitchen Table Medicine is an easier way to learn about living better in sync with nature. It’s a way to become more familiar with natural living without being overwhelmed by all there is to learn.

Dr. Nicole and company present the information in small, understandable, digestible pieces, and cover all the bases for successful healthy living….Read the rest of this article about Kitchen Table Medicine”

REVIEW by Melissa Ward author of “Phenomenal Entrepreneurs”

“…The posts are chuck full of tips that range from dealing with skin issues to why you should be eating breakfast (hanging my head). You will even find posts that ask What IS Beauty? and Are you suffering from a terminal case of the “I can’ts”?

I have never been a pill popper and am always looking for natural remedies for various maladies. I consider Dr. Nicole’s blog to be a very valuable resource. I can’t tell you how much time I have saved NOT researching something, as she already had covered the topic. The writing style is delightful, professional, personable and to the point.”

Again, many sincere thanks for leaving an inspiring comment for me to read on a rainy day!

~Dr. Nicole Sundene
CEO KitchenTableMedicine.com

Dr. Nicole Sundene, NMD is a licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor at Fountain Hills Naturopathic Medicine 16719 E Palisades Blvd, Suite 205, Fountain Hills, AZ 85268.

She believes we should utilize natural medicines to treat the root cause of disease rather than just treating symptoms, as symptoms are a message of imbalance sent from the body and will persist until they are properly addressed.

For appointments please visit http://FHnaturopathic.com for more information about Naturopathic Medicine services.
©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

Doctors Fighting in Washington D.C. to Support H.Con.Res.58!

By Dr. Nicole Sundene

If you want to see health care reform, and if you blog for health care reform, please re-post the following press release on your website, share with friends, family, and well…everyone that will listen! You can even include my introductory spiel, or make your own. Please just share the word!

Doctors are fighting to reform health care in America!!!

We are doing this for YOU! For your children! For your children’s children. We are doing this for the well being of America…the 2nd most unhealthy country only second to Finland….while we just so happen to spend the MOST on health care….hmmmm….why is that?!?!??!

How can you help Dr. Nicole and friends fight the Kitchen Table Medicine fight? Just pass on this info to those that are in Washington D.C. or join them!

Write your congress and let them know that preventive medicine treatments, consultations, and education are IMPORTANT to you. After all, the Latin root for the word “doctor” is “docere” meaning….to teach.

We want to teach you how to be healthy. We want to teach you how to live without unnecessary medications. We want to teach you how to be the best version of you possible.

Thanks so much for passing along the following press release, and helping us fight the fight to offer Americans the finest health care! We want you to have every option available as we revise the current health care system. But we need your input. We need you to write your local congress, to congregate with those in Washington D.C. and let your government officials know that the well being of our nation is important to you and your family.

As a physician, I believe the health care crisis will never be reformed until we fix the crisis at our Kitchen Tables and we need fine doctors, and nurse educators PAID to coach you to a whole food diet and lifestyle. We need acupuncturists, chiropracters, masssage therapists, all working as a team with your MD and naturopathic physician. Why are these “premium” modalities not part of every insurance plan? Why don’t you have access to the information you need? Why is organic food SO expensive but refined crap is readily accessible and CHEAP. Why is the health care crisis I read about in the newspaper at my grandmother’s obituary from 1976 (reporting her as the first female bartender in Olympia) not improved but worsened? We are not headed in the right direction people. We are going the WRONG WAY.

Why are we worried about the Swine Flu so much when 1 in 3 adults will develop adult diabetes, and if the current trends in America continue then 1 in 2 children born TODAY will end up with diabetes. If you have two children that means that statistically one of them could end up with diabetes, unless you model healthy whole food eating and lifestyle NOW.

For every $1 a healthy person costs our health care system a diabetic costs $13….now I am no mathematician….but how are we going to reform health care if we don’t start with a whole foods diet and lifestyle? How are we not going to be in an economic crisis when 50% of Americans have diabetes?

Being healthy really isn’t that hard:

80% Whole Foods + 20% Who Cares = Disease Prevention

You can do it! I believe in you. Thanks for sharing my message and helping improve preventive medicine legislation.

~Dr. Nicole

KitchenTableMedicine.com
************************************************************************************************************************

PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Contact: Jenna Huntsberger
(202) 237-8150 [email protected]

Naturopathic Medicine Supporters Advocate For Health Care System Based On Wellness, Disease Prevention, And Natural Medicine:

More than 100 naturopathic doctors and supporters will descend on Capitol Hill Monday, May 4, to advocate for an overhaul of the nation’s health care system. Advocates from across the country will ask their Members of Congress to support H.Con.Res.58, a resolution that would transform the health care system from one that manages disease to one rooted in prevention, health promotion, and wellness.

“The health care system must address the underlying factors that lead to chronic disease,” says Karen Howard, Executive Director of the American Association of Naturopathic Physicians. “Nearly forty percent of all U.S. deaths are from heart disease, and more than two thirds of Americans are overweight. Clearly, the current system doesn’t do enough to prevent these costly health conditions. We need to move past this broken model and create a system that focuses on overall health, wellness, and enabling the body’s natural healing process.”

Naturopathic medicine is based on the belief that the human body has an innate healing ability.

Naturopathic doctors teach their patients to use lifestyle changes and cutting-edge natural therapies to enhance the body’s ability to ward off and combat disease.

Naturopathic doctors craft comprehensive treatment plans that blend the best of modern medical science and traditional natural medical approaches to not only treat disease, but also to restore health.

“Today, our definition of ‘wellness’ is limited to drug screening, vaccinations, and other preventative strategies such as drug therapy,” continues Howard. “But we drastically undervalue how changing behavior can prevent disease. If the nation is to move past the current health care crisis, we must adopt a patient-centered health care model that will restore and maintain optimal health.”

The American Association of Naturopathic Physicians is a professional association strives to make naturopathic medicine available to every American, and to increase recognition of naturopathic physicians as the identified authorities on natural medicine. Our members include accredited schools of naturopathy, students, physicians, and individual and corporate supporters, participating independently or though 40 state-level affiliate organizations. Learn more at www.naturopathic.org

Jenna Huntsberger

American Association of Naturopathic Physicians

4435 Wisconsin Ave. NW, Suite 403

Washington, D.C. 20016

Phone: (202) 237-8150; Toll-Free: (866) 538-2267; Fax: (202) 237-8152

Email: [email protected]

Dr. Nicole Sundene, NMD is a licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor at Fountain Hills Naturopathic Medicine 16719 E Palisades Blvd, Suite 205, Fountain Hills, AZ 85268.

She believes we should utilize natural medicines to treat the root cause of disease rather than just treating symptoms, as symptoms are a message of imbalance sent from the body and will persist until they are properly addressed.

For appointments please visit http://FHnaturopathic.com for more information about Naturopathic Medicine services.
©KitchenTableMedicine.com, LLC ™

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